today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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