I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
