Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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