Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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