i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
