I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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