i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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