At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
