Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
