I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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