So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
