I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
