with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize