I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You're like the curious george of whores
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize