At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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