In the future we'll all be gay
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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