I love black thongs
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
