Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
