After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
