I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
