Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
they need to just BURY HIM!
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
