You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
