I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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