Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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