She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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