Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
