dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
