the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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