So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
