Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I will pee on everything he values.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
