How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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