There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
