Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
where am i from again
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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