i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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