if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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