when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
