The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
