Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
What a dumb baby whore.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
