She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
