He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize