the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
