New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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