I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
