A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My liver just broke up with me...
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
