that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He shit in the fireplace
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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