have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
