please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
