ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
