i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
