and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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