Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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