I'm gonna have a badass scar
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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