But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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