I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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