The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
