I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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