And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
