So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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