So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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