i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
