We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
