i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
