So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
