Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
