One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
