I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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