She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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