But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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