We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
