have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Are we still banned from the library?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
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