Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
being pregnant is like rehab
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize