College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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